When you’re a guy whose website header reads, “The Real-Life Party God;” when your email is TheKingOfPartying@Gmail.com; when you write songs like “Party Hard,” “Big Party,” “Long Live the Party” and “It’s Time To Party;” when your party game is so good that you can write books about it, and do philosophy tours, and nearly become Cultural Ambassador to Bahrain, you’re bound to have opinions on New Years’ Eve — arguably the “partiest” day of the year.
And Andrew W.K. does. Appropriately it’s one of his favorite holidays, not just because it’s the biggest bash of the year (for most people; when you’re him it’s “in the best way, just another day,”) but because the spirit, camaraderie and hope of the occasion match so well with who Andrew W.K. is and what he does.
“I mean really, New Year’s Eve, that mindset and that feeling, has been a big inspiration for me in general. Trying to figure out a way to make that feeling present every day, or every party, as much as possible.”
Now, for the second year Andrew W.K. is giving back to the day in the most fitting way: with one of his confetti-clotted concert-party extravaganzas on New Year’s Eve in Chicago. After he and his band played their first New Years Eve show in New York last year he realized, “This was the greatest time I ever had on New Year’s; I want to do this every year from now on.”
But what if you don’t live in Chicago? And what if you can’t make it to Chicago? You may wonder, “Has The Party God forsaken me to a boring New Year’s Eve?”
Of course not. Though he would never tell you exactly how to party, Andrew W.K. was kind enough to share his very professional opinion on what people can do wherever they are, to maximize every element of their night. Here they are, in all their glory:
Top photo by Cindy Ord via Getty Images. Above photo by Jonathan Thorpe.
Andrew W.K.’s Eight Keys to a Party New Year’s Eve
Step One: (Party) Sleep In
“In anticipation of the idea that you’re going to be staying up late, quite possibly until even the sunrise — or even beyond — on early New Year’s Day, I would recommend sleeping in on New Year’s Eve. I am a big believer that napping and sleeping counts as partying as long as you sleep very hard and nap with an extreme amount of commitment. Like it has to be a hardcore sleep. It’s not a sleep out of laziness, it’s a sleep that’s rejuvenating and building up our endocrine systems.”
(Apparently this is nothing new. In high school Andrew liked to set his alarm just so that he could have the delight of turning it off again. “Because nothing is more enjoyable than that — it really is like a physical, pleasurable rush. Like a high. It really is to me… even if you’re not tired.”)
Step Two: Fuel The Party Machine
“Once you rise, I would begin by having the biggest breakfast meal that I possibly could. But considering the fact that it may now be well after noon, you could start with a pizza breakfast! I mean you could start with pancakes of course… you could start with tacos, or nachos. The idea would be, you don’t have to play by their rules anymore when it comes to this day.”
Step Three: Party Sleep Some More?
“You might even feel like rolling back over to sleep after that point, which you certainly can do. You can start the day twice, and have breakfast again! You could have two days in one! I mean, if you’re trying to extract as much day out of New Year’s Eve, then why not have it feel like two days?”
Step Four: Hydrate
“I would begin an early evening, maybe late afternoon, ritual of consuming a huge quantity of water. Most importantly, it is to hydrate you for a long night of exertion. Hydration allows you to continue moving. Nimbleness. You want nimbiality when it comes to moving your body around, and it’s got to stay greased up. And the best way to grease is with waters! And then you can really indulge in any other substance knowing that you have that watery core.”
Step Five: Prepare for Contingencies
“So if you’ve plumped yourself up, and literally bloated yourself like a water balloon full of fluid, you may have many emergencies to where you have to use the restroom. This is a situation where a pocket toilet comes in very handy…”