Every week, New York City’s own party messiah takes your life questions and sets you safely down the right path to a solution in his new weekly advice column in The Village Voice. Read the latest edition of Ask Andrew W.K. below or by clicking HERE.
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I’ve got a friend who I love dearly, but certain things about her just drive me insane. I can’t stand her taste in music, movies, clothes, and I really don’t like her views on politics. Sometimes I get so frustrated and upset by the stuff she likes, I have hard time being around her at all. But when it comes to spending time together, we usually get along great and have tons of laughs just hanging out. We’ve been friends for over 10 years, but I find it harder and harder to relate to her tastes. Am I being shallow? Can we still be friends?
– Love Hate
Dear Love Hate,
You don’t have to like everything about someone in order to love them as a person. And you don’t have to relate to every single aspect of your friend’s life in order to have a meaningful friendship. In some social relationships, you can enjoy someone’s company simply through a shared interest in things like music and movies. But with other friendships, the bonds go deeper and have little to do with style or taste. The beauty of humanity is in finding common ground. Anyone can look for a reason not to like someone — but it’s when we go beyond our differences and look for ways to understand each other that we truly experience the spirit of unconditional love and togetherness. That’s why we can develop very close bonds with very unlikely people – someone much older than us, or from a different background, or in this case, with much different tastes in culture. It’s great when you can agree with someone on everything, but it’s unrealistic and uncommon, and also potentially boring. What’s to be learned when you’re only hanging out with mirror versions of yourself all the time?