Cracked Loves Andrew

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Cracked.com glowingly featured Andrew in two of their special "top 4" articles recently. Andrew comes out at #1 on both countdown lists! Check out the party articles below or by clicking HERE and HERE.

4 Musical Geniuses Hiding in Unexpected Bands

#1. Andrew W.K. Is a Classically Trained Pianist

How You Know Him:

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY!

The Musical Genius:

What were you doing at age 4? Maybe learning your ABCs? Drawing blood-splattered images of your father on the kitchen floor? Andrew W.K. was learning classical piano at the University of Michigan School of Music. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating: age 4. In high school, he studied jazz piano, and after that he joined about 900,000 bands, because he loves music and partying that much.

So how good is he? Those who have seen him in concert know. But for those who haven't, here's one of his solos:

He doesn't just play piano, either. He's been known to play every single instrument on his own CDs. The guy is so goddamn good that even when he's fucking around and being funny with an instrument, it's still better than most people who are putting in a full effort. Here he is having a pretty funny piano battle with Chilly Gonzales:

As a side note, this quote from his Wikipedia page says everything you ever need to know about Andrew W.K.: "On Friday, December 5, 2008, an Andrew W.K. fan named Dominic Owen Mallary died after an accident while his band Last Lights performed at Boston University. Dominic had always said that he wanted to have Andrew W.K. play during his funeral. After several friends of Dominic emailed him, Andrew came to the wake, and played classical piano for the entire time after paying his respects."

I couldn't imagine a better ending to my life than being escorted out with a personal Andrew W.K. party.


#1. "Andrew W.K. Is More Than One Person"

As the new millennium dawned, a strange, white-clad, bloody-nosed madman burst on the music scene. This prophet of partying was called Andrew W.K., and behold! He was neat. However, since his breakthrough hit (you know, the one about quantum physics) started gaining traction, there have been rumors that he was, to put it bluntly, fictional. An entity called "Steev Mike" is claimed to be behind his music. Some say things go even deeper than that: According to them, the man we know as Andrew W.K. is an actor, and there have been at least two Andrews over the years. Here's proof:

Via NOW Toronto

You know the theory is true because people never look different in photographs taken years apart. Also, clearly we're talking about a man whose face is completely set in stone, and never ever drastically changes, no matter what happens.

Oh, right.

Unsurprisingly, Mr. W.K. was quite taken aback by the rumors at first, but he ultimately decided to embrace them, because what the hell else are you going to do? Just flat-out admit that you're a doppelganger, or -- even more boringly -- that you're not?

That shit does not a party make.

Why It Needs to Be Real:

Why? Seriously, you're asking me why, subheader?

Do you know how awesome Andrew W.K. is, subheader? The man is a national treasure. There's his party-tastic Twitter account. There's his weekly, nigh-impossibly profound "Ask Andrew W.K." column. He's involved in cool nightclubs, motivational speaker tours, TV shenanigans, and a ton of other stuff. And, of course, there's always this:

In all of his ventures, he's a paragon of slightly insane but surprisingly insightful positivity, and even the people who have met him and kind of buy into the "elaborate hoax" theory admit he's one of the nicest guys they've ever met. So, some people are saying there's more than one of this man? To this, I say fuck yeah! I want there to be more Andrews W.K. The world needs more Andrews W.K. In fact, regardless of whether this thing is true, from now on I'm choosing to believe that there are at least a dozen of this guy running around, giving good advice to strangers, making faces on Fox News, going insane on Twitter, and rocking like no men have rocked before or ever will, all the while wearing that trademark smirk on their faces. At night, they all meet in a hidden Andrew W.K. lair and embark on secret missions where they fight crime. With the power of partying.

Cloning device Kickstarter, anyone?

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This news item was posted on: July 25, 2014

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