ADVICE: How to Cope With the Death of a Friend

Every week, New York City's own party messiah takes your life questions and sets you safely down the right path to a solution in his new weekly advice column in The Village Voice. Read the latest edition of Ask Andrew W.K. below or by clicking HERE.

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June 25th, 2014

Dear Andrew,

My best friend just died. He was killed in a car accident. I'm totally devastated; I can't eat or sleep or even breathe. He was like a brother to me. We had been friends since we were really young and we grew up together. I feel beyond sad, and also angry. I don't know what to do. Life feels like it has lost its meaning and I can't bring myself to do much of anything. I've never had someone this close to me die before. Now that he's gone, it's got me afraid of the other people I love dying, too. Why does life have to work this way? Why do people have to die? Please help me. Please.

With gratitude,
Missing My Friend

Dear Missing My Friend,

I'm truly sorry your friend has died. My heart and thoughts go out to you and all of your friend's family and everyone else who was close to this young man. I'm assuming he was young because the particularly painful anguish you're describing is usually reserved for someone who leaves the earth way too soon. It's also sad when a very old person dies, but in a different way than when we lose someone who still had so much life left to live. Even though you and I aren't physically near each other, and even though I didn't know your friend, I feel for you.

I'm thinking of you, and you're reading this and thinking of me. There is a magic here, the magic of human love. It's a genuine feeling that I hope you can sense, wherever you are and whatever else you're feeling. I'm sending you all the thoughts and concentrated love I can muster. You never need to feel alone in your darkest moments of loss and sadness because even strangers can care about you. Even people you've never met, who are thousands of miles away, can really care about you -- that's the magic of humanity. And it's by using this magic that you can still be close with your friend who died.

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Photo by Alex M. Smith

This news item was posted on: June 25, 2014